Yesterday I received my formal diagnosis: autism spectrum disorder … Or Asperger’s syndrome.
As as a family we’ve joked about the possibility of me being an “asparagus” and yet I feared I was making a fuss about nothing and just needed to get on with life.
But the challenges of frequently feeling “out of step” have driven me to investigate properly and today I am very glad that I did.
When I imagined how I would feel I expected a sense of relief and indeed that is mostly what I feel.
Today life feels simpler somehow. As if suddenly things make so much more sense: The confusion I often experience is real. The mistakes I make are not my fault. The disconnect between intellectual and emotional intelligence has an explanation. It’s just how I’m wired.
I’m grateful for a book I’ve been given which, in a straightforward way, explains some common difficulties .
I wince slightly as I recognise traits I know are not socially acceptable . I’m amazed as I read about things I’d never noticed in myself before … yet which I can now clearly identify.
One interpretation of Psalm 139 v 13 is well known- “I am fearfully and wonderfully made”.
But today I return to the New Living Translation which reads ,
” Thank you for making me wonderfully complex”.
Never have those words felt more true. Today I feel I can celebrate all that makes me “me”.